Title: "Sanubian Sunshine 2: Overcast"
Pairing: Auron/Rikku
Author: Fairy Armadillo
Email: fairyarmadillo@aol.com
Disclaimer: Not mine. Really. Don't hurt me.
Rating: NC-17

Summary: After the destruction of Al Bhed Home, Rikku is upset. Auron comforts her. Whee. ^_^

WARNINGS: Male/female romance, graphic lemon. That means sex, kiddos. So if you're underage or not into that, move along. Hurt/comfort, angst, spoilers.

Author's Notes: This is the second vignette in my Auron/Rikku series. I'm trying my best to keep this in-character and more or less in keeping with the events of the game.

The armadillo loves feedback. So, please? ::big puppy eyes::

Sanubian Sunshine 2: Overcast

The vibrations of the airship's engines thrummed deep in Auron's bones as he leaned against the bulkhead. It was easier here, away from the others. The well-worn track of his own thoughts was preferable to the atmosphere of anxiety on the bridge. There was nothing to do but wait as they searched for Yuna. Nothing to do but trust that she was safe. Yuna was... so important. So much depended on her -- including Jecht's salvation, and his own.

The tiny noise pulled Auron from his grim musings, so faint that for a second he was certain he'd imagined it. He raised his head to listen.

There it was again. A soft, hurt sound, like something in pain. Or someone crying.

Auron shoved off from the wall and stepped into the main corridor that ran the circumference of the ship. Kimahri stood nearby, arms crossed in his customary guardian's stance. "Kimahri, do you hear anything - unusual?"

The Ronso cocked his head and listened for a minute or two, then shook his great, maned head. "Kimahri hears nothing."

"Hn," Auron grunted. He couldn't hear it now, either. Did the unsent hallucinate? Or was he simply losing his mind? "Well, stay alert."

The Ronso nodded. "Kimahri keep watch."

Auron returned to his spot near the bridge entrance. After only a few seconds he heard the sound again. "I am not insane," he muttered to himself. He turned his head from side to side, trying to trace the sound. It appeared to be coming from a small grille set mid-way up the wall.

Auron placed his ear to the grille. The sound was definitely someone crying, and a familiar someone at that. He thought about what he knew of the airship's layout. "Huh."

Out into the corridor again, a quick nod to Kimahri, and then into the starboard area of the ship. As expected, there was a much larger duct about ten feet past the door which separated the two sections. It was about three and a half feet tall and three feet wide, just large enough that he would be able to move in a crouch rather than a crawl. A smaller person would have fit much more comfortably. A person the size of, say... Rikku.

The grille blocking the opening was hinged, and swung aside easily. The revealed passage might have been a maintenance accessway, but Auron couldn't tell. Even after ten years in Zanarkand, he wasn't terribly well-versed in machina design. Regardless, it was clean and lit well enough to see, if only dimly.

Had it occurred to him, Auron might have left well enough alone. Rikku had obviously gone to a lot of effort to seek out solitude. But ten years of caring for Jecht's son had ingrained his response, and sheer habit tugged him forward.

With a sigh Auron crouched and moved into the small passage. It branched after a few feet, but he could hear the sniffling again, louder now. He allowed it to guide him, following the sound around one turn and down the left arm of a junction. After one last turn the passage widened slightly, and tucked into the corner of the widest part was the figure Auron had been expecting.

"Rikku," he said quietly.

The girl jerked her head up from her bent knees, and her face was wet with tears. "Oh... you found me. No one was supposed to find me."

"I heard you crying." Auron sat next to her, feeling his bones creak as he moved. Unfortunate that being unsent did not preclude one from the aches and pains of mortal life.

"Yeah," Rikku whispered, and sniffled again, wiping at her cheek with the inside of her wrist. "We -- we tried, but there were so many people we couldn't save. My brother, my friends... almost everyone I ever knew growing up. They're all gone."

"I am... sorry." Inadequate words, as always. But they were the only ones he had.

Rikku blinked hard, and another tear tracked its way down her cheek. "My father and the others, they can sing the Hymn, and grieve for a while, and then it's over. I told Tidus I was okay, you know, but..." She sucked in a shuddering breath, close to a sob.

"Grief has its place... but it's best to move on quickly." Ah, such hypocrisy. Was there anything left of his own existence except grief and the oaths he'd sworn?

Rikku made him pay. She fixed him with a glare, her green eyes vivid and startling with those spiraled Al Bhed pupils.

"I know that! Don't you think I know that? I live in Spira too, you know! Sin doesn't care who it takes -- if they're Al Bhed, or Yevonite, or Guado. No one can take the time to grieve, because if they did, there wouldn't be room to do anything else!"

"Forgive me," Auron said, averting his gaze. He hadn't meant to imply that she was being foolish. He sighed. The realm of comfort always had left him feeling clumsy, at best. He was better suited to the sword. Perhaps he should go.

"I'm sorry," Rikku said, her softened voice surprising Auron into looking back at her. "I know you mean well. But I... I can't let go this time, you know? It's just too big. I can't get past it." She thumped her head down on her knees and hugged them tightly, squeezing herself into an even smaller ball.

"...does it ever stop hurting, Auron?" she asked in a thin, plaintive voice.

"No." Auron kept his tone as gentle as possible, but he couldn't lie to her. She deserved the truth. "I wish I could say that it gets easier with time, but it doesn't."

"Oh." Her voice was so small it was almost nonexistent. She looked utterly miserable, hunched there in the dim light. After a few moments of silence and stillness she began to tremble. The soft, wounded sounds started anew.

Auron swallowed, thoughts of leaving now vanished into the air. The vulnerable curve of Rikku's neck filled him with the impulse to protect. His chest ached in sympathetic loss. He knew this moment so well, the realization of inescapable pain.

Auron wished with sudden, futile intensity, that he could take Rikku's pain away with the wave of his hand. As irritating as she could be at times, she was too bright a soul to suffer like this. She didn't deserve it.

But then, no one did.

The best Auron could do was slide his arm around Rikku's hunched shoulders, offering the primitive comfort of touch. His tokkuri got in the way, and Auron unhooked it impatiently and set it off to his left. He took Rikku under his arm then, shifting a bit closer. Rikku's muscles were stiff and tense, but she leaned into him a fraction, letting him know the contact was welcome. It had been a long time since he'd wanted his touch to be welcome, since he'd wanted to comfort another person. Since he'd cared.

Not strictly true, but close enough. In Zanarkand, Tidus had kept the last of his heart from turning to stone. Here in Spira his heart had revived, taken in others. This group of... children, racing headlong to their fate. Though none could rightfully be called children -- not when they were prepared to sacrifice their lives to bring the Calm. Not even the one underneath his arm, the youngest of them all.

Braska had always chided him about this, the fact that he loved too easily, and too well. He'd struggled with it his whole life. He'd gradually learned to keep his distance and protect his heart, but the lesson had been hard-won. He'd have thought it branded onto his soul by now. Love meant loss. Love meant pain.

Braska had warned him of the risks, gently and often, but Auron had been younger then, and unable to help himself. His heart chose, and mind and body could do nothing but follow. And Braska... Braska had seemed to envy his capacity to love, the resilience of a heart that had received wound after wound but never quite broken. It had taken the loss of Braska himself to achieve that.

Auron looked down as Rikku stirred, the tight ball of her posture relaxing as the storm of emotion subsided. Spent for now, she wiped her face and curled against him for comfort, her right hand falling to his chest. Her fingers absently stroked the thick fabric of his coat.

"I think my feelings have burnt out," she said softly. "I don't hurt anymore. I'm just numb."

"It's like that sometimes," Auron said. "Unfortunately, it never lasts."

No matter how one wished it might.

They sat together quietly, only the hum of the airship's engines and the hypnotic rhythm of Rikku's fingers on his coat breaking the stillness. Through his arm and side, Auron could feel peace stealing gradually over her small frame, the calm after the storm.

"This is nice," Rikku sighed sleepily. She snuggled a little deeper into his arm. Auron hesitated.

"Yes," he agreed at last, giving in to the admission. And it was. Rikku was a warm and pleasant bundle against his side, if a bit bony. Her hand on his coat felt good. Her closeness felt good. She smelled good, too - a bit like the hot sands of her former Home, a bit like some exotic spice, and underlying those was the simple scent of warm, healthy girl.

Auron closed his eyes and sent a brief prayer toward a source in which he no longer held belief. This was another ache that death had not taken, much to his dismay. He was in trouble.

Rikku was petting his coat now, and therefore the flesh and bone beneath. Auron gritted his teeth and willed his breathing to stay calm and even. Of the trinity of heart, mind, and body, his body appeared to be leading the way. Completely and utterly without his consent, his right arm drew Rikku closer. His left hand emerged from his coat, encircling her forearm gently. He felt soft skin, and the downy brush of invisible hairs.

"Mmm," Rikku purred, a throaty little sound.

Auron swallowed, mouth suddenly dry. He was in a lot of trouble.

Rikku blinked open her eyes, looked up at him with an expression half-sleepy and half-seductive. Auron gazed back, and watched her pupils dilate, the spirals seeming almost to spin as they expanded into small black pools.

"Hi," she said very softly, nearly whispering.

"Hello," Auron replied numbly. More eloquent speech seemed to have escaped him, and likewise the ability to move.

Rikku tilted her chin up, leaning very close to his face. Her lips parted, then tightened in an annoyed line as she realized his high collar was blocking her goal. Making a little noise of frustration, she tugged the top edge out of the way with one hand and finished leaning in.

Auron jerked his head away and to the side a fraction of an instant before their lips touched. "Rikku --"

"Don't tell me I'm too young," Rikku interrupted, dead serious. "Because I'm not."

Auron shook his head slightly. "No, you're not. But you are upset. Do you even know what it is that you want?"

"Yes."

Well, that certainly sounded definite. "And... how much... do you want?"

"Um..." Rikku's gaze lost some of its certainty.

Auron felt a wash of relief. If Rikku wished to back off, he would gladly let her do so. His body, with its racing heart and sweating palms, could just go and hang. "Well?"

Rikku's fingers plucked at the buckles of his collar. A faint blush spread across her cheeks and nose. "I'm pretty sure I want... a lot. Whatever you're willing to give."

That was not at all what he'd expected.

"Why." Even to his own ears, the word was monotone.

Rikku shrugged. "Maybe it's because I'm not a 'dirty Al Bhed' to you. There wasn't a trace of hate in your eyes, when we first met. Maybe it started then. Maybe it's because you called me over to look at the snow bike, at Macalania, so Wakka wouldn't see me cry."

"I... see."

"It's not like Tidus and Yunie, you know? But it's still... still real." Rikku looked at him, and her face filled with unhappiness of a different kind. "You really don't want to, do you? Not even a kiss?"

Auron shook his head. His throat felt surprisingly tight. "I can't, Rikku."

"Why not?" she asked softly.

"It will... complicate matters."

"That's not an answer," Rikku persisted.

She would insist on making him say it. Perhaps it was for the best. "I'm unsent, Rikku. Dead."

"Oh." Rikku poked at his chest experimentally. She didn't seem especially surprised. "Does that make a difference?"

Auron raised his brows so high he could feel the scar pulling at his bad eye. "You knew?"

Rikku nodded. "Since Guadosalam. I don't know what the Farplane smells like, but I could guess what Seymour meant."

"And you still..."

"Yeah." Rikku shrugged. "I mean... I know you're not going to be around forever." The corners of her mouth drooped, but she propped them up. "But no one is, right? We gotta make the best of the time we have." Her chin quivered, and she dropped her head to his shoulder to hide her expression.

"You know what I really want?" Rikku whispered. "I want to forget being sad. Just for a while. Please... remind me what it's like to feel good."

The absolute irony of it, Rikku asking that of him.

Auron dissolved into laughter, laughter that grew by turns until it sounded more like pain. By the time he ran out of breath the bridge of his nose was stinging with unshed tears, and Rikku was looking at him very strangely indeed.

"I've never heard you laugh like that," she said. "I didn't think it was that funny."

"It wasn't." His high collar was strangling him suddenly, and Auron tore it off with the practiced motion of one hand, throwing it aside.

Rikku tilted her head, regarding him quietly, and then gave him a faint smile.

"What?"

"I know why you wear that collar, now. With that scar and the gray hair and the glasses, your face is all 'I'm tough and mean. Don't mess with me.' But your mouth is all 'I'm a big softie.'"

Auron couldn't seem to summon the indignation appropriate to that remark. His lips twitched upward. "You've discovered my secret."

Rikku smiled back, tracing the edge of his mouth with a fingernail. It sent ticklish sensations shivering down his spine. "That's okay," she reassured him. "You've got more."

He did, indeed. The fingernail left off its maddening explorations to trail up the underside of his jaw, and Auron missed it shamefully.

"Besides, it doesn't work anyway," Rikku added. "Your eyes are too warm."

"Eye." The shell of his ear was now being investigated, and he felt it all the way to the soles of his feet.

Rikku brought her finger back to his chin, and tapped it as if in remonstration. "You have two eyes. One just doesn't work anymore."

"I stand - sit - corrected."

Rikku's smile brightened for a second. The fingernail resumed tracing his lips. Auron fought down a shudder, his head going back. When he looked at Rikku she was staring at his mouth with undisguised longing.

"Auron, can I kiss you now? Because I really, really want to."

At what moment, exactly, had he lost the ability to say no? Regardless, it had long passed. "All right," he said, and was surprised at the whiskey roughness of his own voice.

"Oh, goody," Rikku breathed into his mouth, and then her lips touched his.

Delicate, delicate brushing of lips against lips, a feather-light contact that set his already sensitized nerves alight. Auron withstood it for as long as he could, and then he cupped his hands around the back of Rikku's neck and parted his mouth, gently deepening the kiss. Rikku responded to him easily, no trace of nervousness in her motions.

Warm lips, and tongue, moist heat slicking its way inside him, exploring him as he explored her. Closeness, and touch, Rikku almost sprawling across him now. He'd forgotten what it was like to have another so near. Not passion, precisely, but more the simple intimacy of it. It awakened a long forgotten hunger inside him. The hunger was satisfied even as it was roused, but too slowly. Far too slowly.

Auron cupped Rikku's shoulder blades in his hands and drew her closer, stretching out his body in an instinctive quest for more contact. He'd missed this. Oh, how he'd missed it.

Rikku made that purring noise again, and it buzzed against his teeth. Auron shuddered and broke the kiss, rubbing away the tickle against her cheek. Rikku drew back, breathless and a bit uncertain.

"Okay?" she asked.

"Yeah." Comfort and forgetfulness he could grant. Auron slid his thumb along Rikku's ribs, until he found the crease where arm met shoulder. Rikku wriggled atop him, making herself more comfortable, and much to Auron's embarrassment it wrenched a small groan from his throat.

"Hey, neat," Rikku murmured. She wriggled again, and then again, trying to draw forth a similar reaction.

"Rikku..." Auron dropped one arm to her waist in an attempt to hold her still. It worked about as well as he'd expected it to. He could feel another groan welling up from his midsection. "Nnn..."

As a last resort Auron kissed Rikku again, stifling himself with her mouth. The scent of spice intensified as he threaded the fingers of his left hand into her hair. He savored the scent, and the softness of it, and the taste of her mouth, sweet, but with a lingering hint of salt-bitter tears.

Somehow it was that bitterness that fired Auron's blood. He rolled them both over, taking care not to grind Rikku's tailbone into the unforgiving floor, and knelt over her. Strategically, it was an unsatisfying move. He needed his right hand to support himself, to keep from crushing Rikku under his greater weight, and the other lay tangled in her hair. That left only his mouth to do his exploring, and he wasn't yet ready to relinquish the kiss.

Rikku had no such dilemma, which she demonstrated immediately. Auron felt her nimble fingers at his wide belt, making quick work of the double buckles. In what seemed no time at all it was free and sliding off to the side, allowing his coat to fall open. With that familiar pressure gone from around his waist, Auron experienced a brief sensation of vulnerability. It was intense enough to pull him from the sweet well of her mouth and make him look down at her.

And... well... that did make for a pleasant sight: Rikku nestled in the dark cave made from the sides of the coat and the wall of his own chest, her verdant eyes glowing up at him. Rikku slid her hands up from his waist, exploring the contours of his torso with apparent relish. Auron arched into the touch and carefully disentangled his hand from her hair, sending it on an exploratory mission of its own.

Her breasts were soft, and fit themselves neatly into the palm of his hand. He thumbed a nipple and felt it peak through the orange knit of her shirt. Rikku responded enthusiastically, with a tiny gasp and the burying of her teeth in her lower lip. Auron kissed that lip, nibbled it, and then jerked back with a gasp of his own as Rikku's hands found the closure of his trousers, and his stiffened anatomy below it. He shuddered hard as she caressed him through the tough fabric.

"Sorry," Rikku whispered, releasing her grip. "Did that hurt?"

"No." Auron swallowed. "It's just... very sensitive. It's been a long time." His heart was about to pound out of his chest.

Rikku smiled. "Oh. Okay, I'll take it easy on you." Her hand returned, moving more carefully this time. Auron closed his eye and simply enjoyed the sensation for a few moments. Rikku was either possessed of considerable natural talent, or she'd had some experience with love-making before. She seemed to know instinctively just how to touch to keep him aroused, without putting him in danger of embarrassing himself.

Once the first sharp edge of feeling had passed and his nerves had settled into a pleasurable haze, Auron recalled himself to task. He let his hand wander, investigating the small roundness of Rikku's belly, the soft swelling of hip into thigh. His fingers found the fringe of her shorts and played with it, then ghosted over the skin beneath in a light, tickling touch. Rikku squirmed and giggled, her breath speeding up.

Auron arched an eyebrow. "Ah, you see? Turnabout is fair play."

"Are... are you saying I'm teasing you?" Rikku's big green eyes stared up at him, the picture of outraged innocence. The twitching of her lips betrayed her true feelings.

"Mercilessly." Auron leaned down for another kiss.

"Not merciless," Rikku murmured into his mouth. She pulled him down until they touched body to body, and wrapped her long legs around him. Auron felt his arousal lurch another step higher, and his urgency with it.

"Rikku..." The name was very like a moan, but Auron couldn't be bothered to care. Suddenly Rikku was pushing him away. "...what?"

"C'mon," Rikku said, wriggling beneath him. "Less... less pants, huh?"

Auron realized her squirming had definite purpose now, as she removed the black pouch strapped to her thigh, and worked her shorts off her hips. Auron was torn between watching and tearing open his own clothing. He managed to split his attention between tasks, shoving his much looser trousers down around his thighs.

Rikku looked down at him, her eyes lit with heat and warmth. "I knew you'd be a boxers guy," she said, hooking her fingers in the waistband and lowering them to join his trousers.

"You speculated on my underwear?"

"Yeah, and what was under them, too."

Auron's breath hissed sharply between his teeth as Rikku touched his erection without the interference of cloth. His hips bucked, and Rikku made a little sound of want. Auron fought to keep still. "Rikku, wait."

"Can't," Rikku panted. "Don't wanna."

All right. Neither could he, to be honest. Rikku positioned herself and him, then Auron was sliding into her body's welcoming embrace.

And he was very carefully not thinking about what that felt like. Such slick, tight heat and pleasure was not a part of his normal universe. Nor was the sense of connection, Rikku enveloping him as he surrounded her. The ever-present ache of loneliness began to fade, just slightly, and Auron felt it as a painful awakening, long-disused and frozen places in his soul beginning to thaw at last.

Auron thrust helplessly, that basic bodily imperative impossible to deny. It took every ounce of self-control he possessed to let Rikku set the pace, her hands and flexing body showing him the rhythm she desired. The sounds she made were sweet in comparison to his own animal grunting, barely restrained out of some lingering instinct to discretion.

Their height was disparate enough that Auron could not bend to kiss her, but if anything, Rikku's green gaze was even more intense. It held him, invited him to lose himself even as she was lost, in pleasure and the awareness of union. Then Rikku bit him, and Auron's last rational thought fled.

"Ohhh, man." Rikku made a long, drawn-out groan. She tried to sit up, made it a couple of inches, and flopped back.

"Are you all right?" Auron asked from where he'd retreated, lying by her side. His coat draped over them both, concealing their nakedness.

"I'm great," Rikku said. And she was. Or, well, at least a lot better. The grief was still there, and worry over Yuna, but Auron had given her the forgetfulness she'd needed. He'd made her feel alive again, for a few precious minutes. It eased the burden, let her put aside the tragedy for a while. "How about you?"

"Me?" Auron seemed mildly surprised that she'd asked. "I'm fine."

He didn't look fine. Even lying right next to her, he seemed miles distant, his expression shuttered and thoughtful. Rikku hoped he wasn't having second thoughts. Absently, he rubbed at the mark near the base of his throat, where Rikku had buried her teeth to keep from screaming. "Sorry about that," she apologized.

Auron's gaze flicked to her, and Rikku saw a flash of warmth there. "I didn't mind."

Okay, that wasn't so bad. Maybe he was just trying to fit himself back together. Just a few minutes ago he'd worn an expression so raw and open she'd hardly recognized him. It couldn't be easy to go back to being the gruff legendary guardian after that.

Auron's glasses were nearly slipping off his nose, and Rikku pushed them back up with a forefinger. Auron pulled his head away sharply, frowning, but when he caught her hand and held it his grip was gentle.

It was then that a rough voice echoed loudly over the ship's PA-system, making them both jump like scalded cats. "Rikku! Frana yna oui? Fa'na huf vehtehk Yuna!"

"Pops!" Rikku sat up and began scrambling into her shorts. "He wants me on the bridge. We're going to look for Yuna!"

Auron paused in reassembling his own clothing. "How will you find her?"

"Pop's going to use a sphere oscillo-finder -- it's a machina. It'll home right in on her!" Rikku used her fingers to imitate cross-hairs fixing on a target. "I hope she's safe!"

Auron snorted. "Knowing Yuna, she's probably in trouble. But we will rescue her. Her pilgrimage isn't over yet."

Rikku hesitated. "It might be. My dad doesn't want Yuna to be a summoner anymore. He's pretty convincing when he wants to be."

Auron's eye narrowed. "I see."

Rikku bit her lip. "Look, I've got to get up there. Are you ready?"

Auron was still affixing his tokkuri to his side. "You go on. I'll be along in a moment."

"Okay." Rikku started to move off, but turned back. "Auron? Um... thanks." And then she was gone.

Now alone, Auron scowled to himself. Whether Yuna was safe or not, there was trouble brewing.

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